Creating an Identity that Serves You

When I tell people I started playing golf for my mental health, their reaction is usually the same - You should have picked a different sport. Because golf is hard, and can feel like it’s driving us crazy. 

But if we’re going to improve our way of thinking, it doesn’t come from doing things the easy way. 

Want to be more patient? Stand in the longer line. 

Want to be more loving? Love someone who isn’t easy to love. 

Becoming a golfer has blessed me in ways I could never have imagined. The obvious ones: community, connection, time in nature, physical activity, and turning off distractions (airplane mode works on the ground too!). 

But much less expected has been the radical shift required to go from being a “good for a girl” golfer to signing up for tournaments and driving my pink ball past the boys. 

It came down to my mindset. 

Last year, I started listening to an audiobook by Bob Rotella (The Golfer's Mind), a well-known sports psychologist who has worked in the golf field for decades. I often felt her wrote the book just for me, especially when he talked about the inner game of golf.

One concept that really stuck with me has to do with the story we tell ourselves about our own ability. If we think we are a birdie player (which I once hoped to become), our subconscious will show up to make sure we don’t exceed our expectations. 

My mantra today: bogie is good, par is better, and birdies are always more fun. I am a par player…even if I’m not getting a par in every hole. I believe I can make a par. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it more in the future. 

Now, when I shoot much worse than I’d like, I remind myself I am a par player. Each shot gives us an opportunity to play better. To play our best. Each shot is a new opportunity to get back on track. Just like each decision we make and action we take in our life does the same. 

Of course, golf doesn’t have to be your classroom. To stick with our training, we need to find new, challenging ways to develop a healthier mindset for life. It could be gardening, cooking, walking, painting…anything that’s not easy but brings enjoyment. Especially when we build a community around it. 

I’m grateful to have taken life lessons on and off the course to create a new initiative to support young women in sports and entertainment called #WiseGirl. I’ll be sharing more about it in the upcoming months through my website and blog (at www.wisegirl.org), with a kickoff event for college students this fall. 

If you have learned lessons through the game of golf, I’d love to hear about them! Comment below or send me a message so I can play it forward. 

“Winning has always meant much to me, but winning friends has meant the most."

~ Babe Didrikson Zaharias